his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize