I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
