You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
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We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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