good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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