so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
