Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
