your parents love me but you hate me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize