You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
