there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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