How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
