I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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