Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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