If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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