I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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