just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
