I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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