Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize