Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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