So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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