what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
