everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
