Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
