I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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