The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
