where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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