Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
