If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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