i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize
