She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
