You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
