i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
