So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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