new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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