We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
