He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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