She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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