Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
