I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
