omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
