Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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