She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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