sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
