the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
