she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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