We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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