I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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