his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
