Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she smelled like a LAN party
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
