i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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