he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
