If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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