you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
