ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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