I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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