Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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