She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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