I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
