me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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