I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
