I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
