I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize