So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
